Parents Forum

The CAS session on Oct. 31 saw the Parents Forum, which focused on "How to handle interpersonal relationship". Marx once said, "Man is the sum of all his social relations." Good relationships are the foundation of happiness; A happy and productive life depends on learning to get better along with others. Four parent representatives from SHBS Parent & School Association as well as Mr. Tony Wang from the students’ affairs office shared their life experiences and wisdom with the audience. This was a class we must listen to attentively and make the most of.

Based on her own professional experience, Ms. Yuan Yiting, the first parent representative to speak at the session, told the students that if they want to grow up in society, they must communicate with others so that they can better understand themselves and others, and finally achieve common growth. When it came to how to handle interpersonal relationships, Ms. Yuan believed that what mattered most was the ability to “manage crisis”. She convinced students by sharing one specific case in her work that, in case of a crisis, they should make sure that they calm themselves down, put themselves in others’ position and be empathetic with others so that they could turn the original conflict into their mutual goal and find their common solutions. She recommended a book named “ The Art of Communication” to the students and encouraged them to read more books so that they could apply theories to solving practical problems. Ms. Yuan said: while achieving happiness through interpersonal relationships, students should also follow several principles: reciprocity, similarity, resonance and complementation.

Then, by quoting Mr. Liang Xiaosheng's words, Mr.Cheng Jiejun expected each student to be a cultured and kind person with high self-discipline. He pointed out that students will study abroad in the future and shoulder the important mission of integrating Chinese and Western cultures, so they need to have more in-depth thinking about how to handle interpersonal relations in different cultures. He mentioned that students will face all kinds of relationships: family relationship, relationship between teacher and student, and relationship between fellow students, but the most important is the one is the relationship with oneself. We need to be grateful for who we once were, because every decision they once made and every action they once took contributed to who we are now. What we want to become in the future depends on our efforts now. Based on his own life experience, he stated his way to deal with interpersonal relationships: to be a kind and warm person; to improve self-cultivation and the ability to serve the community; to cultivate "altruistic spirit" and put ourselves in others' shoes; to think more about what kind of help we need when we meet with difficulties, and accordingly train our skills; and to learn to communicate effectively.

Ms. Qian said that the key to successful interpersonal relationships is to "know yourself", or to know your strengths and weaknesses. In the four relationships between people which range from closeness to alienation, the discovery and understanding of oneself is the most important. Ms. Qian said educational concepts and techniques fail to teach people where their strengths come from and how to command their strengths and weaknesses and become self-consistent individuals who can overcome stress and anxiety. She stressed the importance of "controlling your emotions." by sharing specific cases in her work. She believed that a person's greatest growth is related to a good control of one’s emotions. By citing psychologist Daniel Kahneman's theory of System 1 and System 2, and based on specific cases, she explained the different characteristics of male and female leadership, encouraging students to find their own characteristics, and improve the ability to control and manage their emotions. Finally, Ms. Qian recommended reading books such as Thinking, Fast and Slow, The Art of Listening, and NonViolent Communication.

Next, it was Mr. Tony Wang’s turn to share his own story with the audience. He said once he ran away from home after a quarrel with his wife. His witty words stirred up the atmosphere and the audience burst into laughter. Tony recalled the "high EQ" of his wife and superior at that time, and encouraged everyone to learn to "be soft rather than tough". He expected the boys present would be able to observe the following 3 rules: to respect women; to honor their moms; and to love their future wives. Sticking to the theme of "interpersonal relationship", Tony recommended two books The Book of Changes and The Power of Empathy to the students in the end. He quoted famous sayings from The Book of Changes, hoping to tell everyone that modesty is the foundation to maintain good interpersonal relationships.

Finally, Ms. Shi Jianyun, the hostess of the session, also added some of her viewpoints. By talking about 2 small incidents which happened while she was working in Germany, she pointed out how important communication is in work and life, especially in different cultures. "Changing myself is the only way to change others. When I change my mindset, others will change theirs as well." As you accept yourself more, you will become more relaxed, more confident, and your relationships with others will become mutually fulfilling. She recommended the book "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Carnegie to the students and encouraged them to make more friends and influence others with their own power.